John I still miss you so much, people say things get easier but they don't, my heart still aches so much, there is nothing I want more in this world but to hold you and tell you all the the things I should have said to you when you were here with us all. Oh my regrets will never go away I think of them every single day, you are never away from my thoughts my darling, I love and miss you so much. I don't think I will ever come to terms that I am not going to see you again, on this earth any way, but I hope and deep in my heart I know we will meet again, and you will be waiting for me at heavens door. Till we meet again my darling love and miss you so much, your broken hearted mam, always in my thoughts hope some way I am still in your thoughts, love you so much, Mam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx